What Could Have Been ...

I often find myself thinking about what could have been. Usually it's when my mind is wandering, like in the shower (okay that may be TMI) or when I'm getting ready for bed, sometimes even when driving home from work. I think about where and what I'd be doing if I made different choices or if my life path had changed. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my life. I have a wonderful group of friends both new and old, my family is amazing, my soon to be husband is a dream come true, but I'd be lying if the thought "what if" never crossed my mind.

I've had my share of boyfriends...good and bad. I even work with my ex (who is the brother of my other ex...don't get me started!). It's hard to believe how life could have turned out so different if I was going to be marrying one of them in 66 days. I look at my ex and his new wife and think wow, that is what I'd be like if my life was on that path. Thank goodness it wasn't! If I had chose a different college, been a different major, made different friends....where would I be today? Who would I hang out with and what career would I be in?

I know that there is a reason for everything and that a path for me has been set, long before I was here. I just find it quite amusing as to how one little thing could change a whole big part. Kind of like the butterfly effect.

The butterfly effect is a metaphor that encapsulates the concept of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory; namely, a small change at one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere. Although this may appear to be an esoteric and unusual behavior, it is exhibited by very simple systems: for example, a ball placed at the crest of a hill might roll into any of several valleys depending on slight differences in initial position. The butterfly effect is a common trope in fiction when presenting scenarios involving time travel and with "what if" cases where one storyline diverges at the moment of a seemingly minor event resulting in two significantly different outcomes. 
(source : wikipedia)

I'd be willing to say, looking back...I'm not where I thought I'd be. I pictured myself married by 23 with 2 kids by now, working in a sports arena of life (physical therapy, athletic trainer, etc) and living in some really nice house. Real Life : I'm 18 days away from being 27, engaged to be married, no kids, working in marketing and living in a highrise. Not really the same. But like I said, I'm happy. Just funny to look back on what you wanted, correction, thought you wanted your life to be like. Is it just me, or does everyone go through this?